am: I woke up to the downstairs bathroom door open and toilet paper off the role. Good morning Mommy!
last night: We already saw” Wolf Creak” so we decided to watch the next movie on the list which was “Kill List.” I give it a thumbs down. I fell asleep and didn’t even finish watching it. I probably just needed the rest. Big plans for today! Decorating for Halloween and walking in the woods enjoying the Fall Foliage. I’m not even going to feel bad leaving the little spawn of Evil home alone. (Well maybe I’ll feel a little bad)
water, oatmeal with apples, blueberries and skim milk, coffee with fat free creamer.
lunch: Started with string cheese and grapes
Went walking at Merli Sarnoski Park. Great hike found 2 Geo at the park and one on the way. Stopped on the way home at Dunkin Donuts and treated myself to a 360 calorie pumpkin doughnut and a large iced caramel and cream ice coffee 340 calories. Actually found it was delicious and I didn’t miss not having added sugar. Better skip the smoothie during the movie tonight,
dinner: one bowl of soup, string cheese
Rant: We were looking for The Mans wallet, so I went out to check his car for him and to my surprise there were at least nine fast food bags crumpled up under the seat. Why would you hide food bags under the seat in your car? One, you don’t want anyone to see them, two I can’t think of a two. The only reasonable explanation is you don’t want them seen. Now the next question is from whom? You remember that I was looking for a misplaced wallet. (Which by the way the wallet was left on the console, very irresponsible) The only people who ride in the car are the man child and me. The next question would be why? I asked that question when I returned with the wallet. His answer was they were there a long time, Food that doesn’t spoil! It didn’t smell. Now the next question one might ask is why do I care. Here goes that rant I spoke of: Well I buy almost all the groceries, snacks, drinks, and prepare the meals for the three of us. I share 99% of every thing I buy except my work drinks. The man child buys himself multiple goodies, drinks, and maybe once in two years offered me something icky his mom gave him. Then he brings down the garbage from said items and places it on the counter for me to dispose of. Did I mention he is 18 and not a kid!( At his age I was already expecting a baby. I spent my entire life caring for others, I just want someone to care for me for a change. ) You may think they are sparing me by sneaking and eating this things but my friend don’t be naive, the diet just started! Sure if I ask The Man, he will offer to go get me something and pay for it. If I ask. I never ask and won’t ask. I hate to ask. But my friends the point really is the sneaking!!!! If you aren’t doing anything wrong why sneak. Why not say I was hungry and stopped for a burger. You don’t need to make dinner for me. I’m good. Maybe I would like to treat myself once in a while. (Which is exactly what I’m starting to do with my Diet. Feel good about me. Take care of my own needs. Like you take care of yours!!!) They both openly go in my refrigerator and take what they want. I have even seen them offer things I bought. Sure The Man gives me money for bills. Apartments are not cheap. There is an apartment for rent around the corner, 2 bedroom for $650. I’m not sure what’s included but I’m pretty sure food isn’t. If you start complaining you get hurt looks and even more sneaking around. It period just makes matters worse. If people would slink around with small things I’m afraid to see what happens with major things. They forget to turn out lights. forget to lock doors, leave garbage around. leave doors open! All of these above are pissing me off and driving me crazy. The mans chores include washing dishes, watering, taking out garbage (which I have to remind him of EVERY week.) He does fix somethings with cement. The man child works and makes more money an hour than I do, his chores are keep your room clean. (holy shit at his age I cooked, cleaned, did the laundry and still found time to get knocked up. The difference being I Loved my mother with my whole heart and not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. I never liked watching her work so hard so I tried my best to help carry the home work load. That’s what you do when you love someone with your whole heart. Get it! I’m not going to say I was perfect I was a screwed up alcoholic little bitch. It took me a long time to straighten out myself and my life and I do not intend to be used and taken advantage of by useless men. See guys, (Not all Guys either! I have known some awesome men) I know how to love and be loved. You can say you love me but it is entirely true: Actions speak louder than words!!!!! You may try for a while but that doesn’t really cut it. I know the difference between spontaneous from love and forced, or pretense actions . Now has become the past and you can’t go back. God knows if you could I wouldn’t pick these back.
